JESSICA WHITE: “Women Nowadays Connect Physically Too Soon”
In a recent interview with Essence.com, Sports Illustrated Model and Maybelline spokeswoman Jessica White talked candidly about her spirituality, practicing celibacy, and dating. The supermodel, who has been linked to the likes of Terrell Owens, Sean Penn, and Ryan Phillippe, revealed that she has been celibate for over a year now. Read on for the highlights.
ESSENCE: What made you decide to be celibate?
JESSICA WHITE: I made a vow to God last year, after so many letdowns and the relationship with my ex, and I knew I really didn’t want to continue making the same mistakes anymore. So I started questioning myself and thought about what I could do to improve me. I reached a place of spirituality where I felt I really needed to concentrate on my relationship with God and preserve myself.
Women nowadays, we connect physically too soon without actually getting to know the person. If you don’t actually give this person your body and then they let you down, there really isn’t a great disappointment; not like it would be if you have already connected physically. I started going on that journey, and I thought to myself, you know what, the next man that I give my body to will be the man that God brought into my life.
I never said that I’m going to wait until marriage. I said it would be a man that I actually know is going to put a ring on my finger. It’s just about me connecting with God and God confirming that this is the man he has created for me. I’m a realist about it. People took that out of context. I said the next man that I sleep with hopefully will be my husband. That’s what I said and I meant that.
Actually, I’m in love with somebody now and I don’t connect with them physically. Who knows if it’s going to go to marriage? We have to get over the physical aspect, you know? A lot of people fall in love because you’re sharing your body with someone. And sometimes you get it twisted and you think that that’s real love.
ESSENCE: Describe your future husband.
JESSICA WHITE: Um… a hardworking man, obviously. Someone who can stand next to me, being a strong woman, and not disappear. Someone who won’t be emasculated by the fact that I work. Someone that understands that I love my job and I love what I do. Someone that pushes me into greatness. Someone that brings out the best in me. Someone that makes me laugh. Someone I feel safe with. I don’t feel safe around a lot of people. Be honest. Even if you screw up, or you mess up, tell me the truth. You know men mess up. Women create this big illusion in their head that the man they’re going to be with is going to be perfect. Nobody’s going to be perfect and people are going to let you down. The only thing that you can hope for is someone that’s going to be honest with you.
ESSENCE: Do you think dating is easier or harder when you’re celebrity?
JESSICA WHITE: Even the famous guys — they just want to date you because it’s a good look for them. You have to question everybody’s motives. That’s why not connecting with someone physically is the best option because you’re not adding more unnecessary baggage to your life. There’s a part in a woman’s soul, God has given it to every woman, and it’s the part where you know whether he’s telling the truth or not. Women see red flags. You just have to be more in tune with it. A great man deserves your body, not just anybody deserves it. And that’s my motto. It’s about breaking the cycle. And I felt like I wanted to break the cycle before I start having kids. I don’t want my daughters to grow up the way that I grew up. I want them to actually see mommy in a fulfilled relationship that’s amazing for her.
Read the rest over at ESSENCE